My party.

My farewell party.

Some came.

Some didn’t.

1) because of work. ???

2) because of rain.

Some drank.

Two refused to

1) because the she had not experienced the thrill of an alcohol high.

2) because the doctor did not believe she needed to experience the alcohol high. Anymore.

Some drank after ages.

But got a stomach ache.

Some drank despite their best intentions.

After being bribed with a car drop.

Some left surprisingly early.

Twinkle-toes no longer twinkles with me.

Some left surprisingly late.

Slept over in the borrowed house’s borrowed room.

And some didn’t leave fast enough.

I had told the guy he was most welcome to leave. He did leave. Only an hour later.

But most importantly, I didn’t want to leave the party.

I’m now in Madras.

I am going.

I’m leaving Delhi in a week.

Yesterday someone asked me, “What will you miss most about the city?”

I had no answer to that. I’m still left trying to figure it out. The only thing I can come up with is, “My life. Here. As I know it.”

I always thought I would be the adventurous kind. The kind who would love something new, somethighg unknown. It’s sad to realise that you are not. That those moments of panic you experience when things don’t go according to plan, are NOT just small incidents, ningling passing feelings. They ARE YOU! That is YOU.

How depressing.

After two years I am once again lost. Albeit in a new field.

I have lost one good friend. Gained two.

I took to a habit of clenching my teeth. I lost the nerves of a tooth to root canal.

I have cut my hair short. Grown several white hairs.

Gained  films. Lost history.

Made too few additions to my music collection.

Have read, maybe, 7 books in this time???

Made love and fought hard. hmmmm... I think I fight harder than I make love.

I have lost one city. In the process of losing another. Gained two-and-a-half.

….

This is the balance sheet. Me (two years back) and Me (now).

…

Am I the only one who thinks there has been some serious miscalculations in all of this.

What’s your poison?

I had recently come to terms with the fact that I need alcohol at almost every social occassion to enjoy myself. 

It’s an expensive habit and to add to that, I need smokes as well.

Alcohol, 

Vodka, whiskey, rum, wine or beer, straight up, on the rocks or diluted with something. I’ll take it all. Not gin though. I just don’t do gin. I think it’s mainly to do with the fact that the first time I ever got drunk was on gin and puked the entire night. That was in Pondi in 2002. After that incident I didn’t drink for 1 1/2 years. Ahh.. such restraint.

….

I also recently realised that I began to ‘misbehave’ while I was drunk. I was more rude to people – it didn’t matter what was flying out of my mouth, I would just say it, do it etc etc

I think the cherry on the cake that is my life, was when I inugurated my 24th birthday with a killer surprise party, my green knee-length boots and a huge bump on the back of my head. In a drunken swing of my hips I managed to fall and almost kill myself. (Ok not kill myself, but left me crying for the rest of the night) and the birthday day itself was spent nursing both hangover and gigantic bump not to mention the utter low-ness that sets in after a highly drunken night.

I often think if cancer doesn’t hit me, liver and stomach problems definitly will.

And then night before last was it. I had two glasses of wine from a bottle which had been opened a few days back. Regardless of my fears if it had been oxidised, I drank it anyway.

The night was spent chugging with my face half inside the indian style cammode. I don’t know if it was because of wine, because of oxidised wine, because of the dependal I swallowed hours before the wine (yes, I told you all my organs are in trouble) or because my body told me to wake fucking up!

The only light at the end of this sickly tunnel that I have been inhabiting, is that I’m going home in a few days. Drinking on a regular basis is difficult there. More so because of the no-smokes.

I just hope my parents early retirement to bed and their well stocked bar doesn’t tempt me.

Starting Over

I am starting over.

I have a new blog. 

So,

HI there! 

One of the main reasons I’ve decided to blog again is to get back in the habit of writing. Another reason is to kill time and whine about my life.